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Pseudolonewolf`s Avatar Weekly Update Sun 2nd May 2010 12:16pm

Category: Weekly Updates

I have finished playing through MARDEK 3 now and balancing it and such, so now it's probably ready for sponsorship! Isn't that exciting?!

First, though, I think it's wise for the beta testers to play it for a bit to see if they can find any critical problems with it or anything. I can do beta testing alongside the sponsorship process, though, so I won't leave it too long before contacting sponsors.
I'll probably contact them tomorrow or something... I always hate this bit though because I'm no good at communicating with people professionally, so I get nervous and probably look stupid and it's all potentially very embarrassing! I'm also out of touch with the 'Flash scene' and don't know how things are done whereas it seems that everyone else getting sponsorships *does*, so I feel ignorant or something. Hmm.

Anyway, though, I've still got quite a few things left to fix, as you'll notice from the progress bar thing. Most of them are relatively minor, though, and I'll fix them while the sponsorship stuff is being done.
Hopefully I can get the game out within a month... Though as I've said before, I have no idea how long the sponsorship process will take.

Hmm, what else?
Oh, right. I've been using the Wii that I have to, uh, 'do' ('play' seems like the wrong word) Wii Fit, which some people said was utterly useless, and it seems to be improving my physical and mental health noticeably. This is because otherwise, I basically never move around at all, and this gives me the chance to, so it's pleasant and so on. Even if I'm not going to become an Olympic athlete from it, that's not what I want it for.

People were also suggesting PS3 and Wii games before, when I didn't ask them to, since I'm not looking for other games right now, and most peoples' game preferences differ from my own, it seems (I'm very picky about what games I actually like).

Actually, this brings to mind something I can ask of people so then you could have something to respond about, maybe!
I have various psychological and lifestyle 'problems' that don't do me any good and which would be best gone, and I know what I can do to fix them but haven't got around to it yet. I mention them off-handedly sometimes because they're relevant to other things, but when I do, people seem eager to offer *advice* that I didn't actually ask for, and generally it's given from their own perspective using things that would work for *them*...
Usually those things show lack of understanding of my situation or personality and wouldn't work for me at all; for example, suggesting I 'go out with friends' or even go and play sport and things like that...

I've been told that it's typical for men, upon hearing problems, to seek to FIX said problems and therefore to give 'advice' to the person complaining, and it seems then from that that many men, if they mention problems *at all* (and I imagine due to the typical machismo thing, that most wouldn't mention them unless they were severe just because it'd be showing weakness?), do so because they want solutions.
Women, on the other hand, would mention problems just to get them off their chest and to merely have someone listen; they wouldn't necessarily want solutions to the problems because talking in itself helps.
This apparently leads to misunderstandings in relationships, if a woman tells her problems to her manfriend and he offers advice, which can end up seeming condescending or even aggressive, in a way, whereas if the man mentions problems to the woman, she DOESN'T offer advice and he thinks she doesn't care or didn't listen...

Anyway, my point is, I seem to do the typical female thing, maybe; I mention problems just because it helps to mention them (or because, as I said, they're relevant to other things I'm talking about; this is most often the case, I think), NOT because I want advice. If I want advice, then I ask for it explicitly.
So to me, when I receive a lot of advice that I never asked for which is given out of ignorance of my specific situation or personality, it seems unpleasant because it's almost condescending, especially when it's the most basic of obvious suggestions that I've thought of or tried already, being suggested to me as if I'm some dimwit who couldn't figure it out myself.
I know that people probably MEAN well from giving advice, but when it's not asked for, it can be annoying.

So what I want to *ask* of you people is basically how you'd feel if you were describing something to someone, probably someone you didn't really know, maybe, and you mentioned off-handedly something like a problem or inconvenience that you had, and they started giving you advice that you never asked for and didn't really at that time want...
Would you appreciate it? Do you always appreciate advice?
Or do you ever find it annoying?

Yes, I know things like this depend on a lot of factors, like the type of advice (I'm sure advice about your sex life might be more annoying than advice about fixing a computer, for example), and the person giving it, but try to think generally or something?

I might have mentioned this before in another news article, I'm not sure...
But I think that I've been noticing it a lot recently, maybe. I think this is because I get a lot of comments on these news articles, and while one or two comments of advice never bothered me, they just build up, and when there are hundreds all giving advice that was never asked for, it becomes... noticeable. Or something.

So anyway! Yes! MARDEK 3 is basically finished and I'm going to seek sponsors. Hooray.
71 comments

 

71 Commentson 38 roots

Lyle`s Avatar
Rating Orb Lyle 24 Australia 65C 28F
7 years ago | (0)
I listen to all advice given, at any time, by anyone, whether asked for or not. My reasoning is that all advice helps me in the end, increasing my knowledge, and people are really only trying to be helpful. Plus it gives quick easy social points - people LOVE to give advice. It releases extra endorphins in the brain, and they later associate that feeling with you being an awesome guy to talk to.

I use a couple of rules on whether I actually follow that advice though. But, no matter what, I listen to and appreciate advice.

The first rule is to keep advice in context - don't listen to just the advice, pay attention to the person giving it. A simple example is if a millionaire and a homeless guy both give you advice on how to be rich, you should probably follow the millionaire's advice and do the opposite of what the homeless guy said.

The second rule is one of the four rules for filtering ideas:

- An unsolicitored opinion is better than one you asked for.

Probably doesn't need much explaining, but a unsolicitored advice is generally more honest than if you had to ask someone. Keep in mind people's motivations for why they did, or did not, give advice.
Seridel`s Avatar
Rating Orb Seridel 20 United States MelancholicCholeric 393C 210F
7 years ago | (0)
All I can say is:
Congratulations, you survived the pressure of taking on Mardek 3, under siege by rabid fanboys and impatient members that are occasionally irritating.
There's 5 more chapters, and I hope they're about as easy as you said they would be with the new engine written.
It's terribly difficult to juggle all of the balls necessary for your life, and if one of them falls, you either plummet and survive or plummet and die.
It's terribly annoying, and nobody will read this except people who read through these comments O.o, but did Pseudolonewolf ever say something about a possible release date for FHO, or an order of projects he would work on? FHO is probably at the bottom, seeing as how it won't generate revenue, and is solely for our entertainment.
Seridel`s Avatar
Rating Orb Seridel 20 United States MelancholicCholeric 393C 210F
7 years ago | (0)
Additional Note:
Advice helps sometimes, sometimes it doesn't. You read it if you have time, you don't if you don't have time. You may gain something from it, even if it is barely related to it. Ignoring the manner in which it is typed is the harder part, because if they're obnoxious and erroneous, I tend to pause and take the time to "correct" them. I love the hypocrisy, because I myself rarely appreciate feedback when I don't have time (i.e: all the time).
Problems do come and go....If you cut the string and let it fall, it'll seem insignificant later, but the only thing preventing you from solving the problem quickly is because you're attached to it, and it'll hurt to cut the string tying you to the problem. Consider that when you solve a problem. In the long run, in the possible future that is reasonable if such events occur, how would your mind in the future act?
So if you never want to solve the problems the easiest way, they'll stay glued to your fingers, as you shake them around, trying to get the problems off.
The "pain" is much more than pain though. It's the ruin of your lifestyle (possibly), and it's a greater form of pain.
Distinctus`s Avatar
Rating Orb Distinctus 16 United States PhlegmaticCholeric 14C 0F
7 years ago | (0)
People give me advice all the time. unless i think I'm hopelessly lost on the subject, I tend to just drift off for the majority of it. This almost always comes back to bite me. Make of that what you will, I ain't changing.
Wienier`s Avatar
Rating Orb Wienier 15 Canada PhlegmaticSanguine 23C 1F
7 years ago | (3)
If you at all during this post you think I'm being a smartass (pardon the langauge) please say so.

Let's look at this in an odd sort of way. Problems stay with us for a long time, even if they are solved, and affect our behaviour and how we respond to other people's problems. Everyone wants to get a quick fix solution to everything, and over time the idea of that quick fix changes. People, therefore, will try and solve your problems with a previous solution to their latest problem. Thats's the theory at least.

I would take advice from some people, depending on a single factor. Whether I respect that person; I think most of us can agree with that.

That said, we all respect you and, for various reasons, want to help with your problems, out of sympathy. You've already come to terms with that, and no one is saying you could not have taken their advice the way they intended, we just saying we want you to get past whatever it is you mentioned.

It's the thought of failure that drives us to succeed, and you losing it (metaphorically speaking) over your problems is a failure to us all.
spoon`s Avatar
Rating Orb spoon 16 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic 32C 69F
7 years ago | (1)
Advice, for me, is always helpful, regardless of it's form. That is, it offers a new perspective, sometimes from one you never even imagined. Someone who's never heard of, say, Bach but hates all contemporary music, might be a little happier of someone suggested that they listen to some of his work, even though said music-hater is self-proclaimed, and is somewhat close-minded on the matter. Granted, that is a rather... Extreme example, but I think it illustrates my point to a certain extent.

You asked fro our opinion, and, in a sentence, it is this: Advice is, generally, a good thing to listen to; if, as it seems to be in your case, the same advice (Go out with friends, play video games, etc.) has been suggested 20+ times, then yes, I could see how you might get annoyed.

You touched on this in your post, people offering advice when you didn't actually ask for it; I will, I admit, offer advice when someone voices a problem; I'll only, usually, since there are always exceptions, offer said advice if I have experienced a similar situation, or know someone who has, or if I know a reasonable amount on a given subject, and I'll usually do it with a disclaimer. "Now, I don't know what works for you, but you might want to try [advice], since that always [effect] for me." That might sound like a bit of a cop-out, I know, but, to me, it makes the most sense. And you're right, I do mean well, and, since I have a general, uh, "feel" for you, as it were, I know... Well, I won't say "know", that sounds somewhat pretentious, I have a good idea of what would/n't work for you, and so, in the rare event that I ever actually DO offer advice, it's more of an, ah, educated guess. Though sometimes, it may not actually be so educated O_o.
LeesusFreak`s Avatar
Rating Orb LeesusFreak 19 United States SanguineCholeric 58C 42F
7 years ago | (3)
What you're referring to isn't necessarily gender-restrictive-- indeed, those situations do by-and-by fall into the stereotypical gendered categorizations, I believe that it has more to do with the individuals' personalities.
For example, some people (such as yourself, Pseudo) may find comfort in throwing reference to such personal issues over the net-- there is no guarantee that anyone will pay attention to your statement, nevertheless sympathize with and critique your scenario. And as a result of this, most who act and think in this manner will not usually offer their "advice" to someone who mentions their problem-- because they intrinsically understand and sympathize with the intention of "talking to a wall", so-to-speak. Let me qualify the aforementioned idea, though, because I foresee it being misinterpreted-- the reference may very well (as it often does) be made while in a conversation; the "talking to a wall" concept refers to the reference in question-- the object/condition/etc that is being referred to is intended to remain a separate entity from the conversation.

Others (like myself), would rather only throw reference to such matters on a more personal level-- where the individual (again, like myself) knows that there are others who will pay attention to their statements. These kinds of people are the ones who normally will mention such objects/conditions/etc (such as my ADD) in a loose, non-formal environment in which they feel comfortable. And these individuals will, much like the other type of person, automatically treat others as they would wish to be treated-- ie showing compassion, empathy, or offering advice to try and ease or even alleviate the target individual's ailing situation/condition/etc.

As with any attempt at the categorization of different aspects of humanity, these typical definitions are just general rules-of-thumb-- there will ALWAYS be those who cannot fit into one group or whom break the "bounds" of their class. But such is the nature of statistics.

Finally, as I mentioned, I am of the latter type, and Pseudo, you are of the former. I know that I have repeatedly done as you mentioned/complained about, and I do regret such actions. As is the nature of my personality, they were done so out of nothing more than compassion, though-- I hope to help you understand this a bit. I apologize if they came across as pestering, annoying, or such but they really were well-intended. I'll try not to do so in the future, if you'd like. :)

(Oh, and yes, I fully realize the irony of this comment-- in creating this, I am doing exactly what I said I'd try to avoid. But hopefully others like me will also try not to do such around certain company in the future.)
Aenoth`s Avatar
Rating Orb Aenoth 15 SanguineMelancholic 19C 1F
7 years ago | (8)
Hope that the sponsor hunting goes well! More sponsors mean more money which mean happier flash game maker! And you know what happier flash game maker means....? Yes! More and better flash games! ^^ (...or less, as lots of money are often turning peolpe into lazy mean idiots..) But that wont happen! ^^
Callesto`s Avatar
Rating Orb Callesto 17 United States PhlegmaticSanguine 42C 1F
7 years ago | (4)
Your work is great pseudo, and I can't wait for M3, but if it'll take another month, I won't care if it takes another three, cause I won't have a computer after that. So good luck, and I'll hope to complete the game in septermber or so. I suck at not sounding rude on some days, so FYI, I'm not trying to be. Bye.
Minstrelguy`s Avatar
Rating Orb Minstrelguy 19 United States 17C 26F
7 years ago | (3)
I'm a woman in the expecting advice, although it doesn't just come from my father. It comes from older people. I didn't notice the correlation of male/female, but I find that when I simply point something out, older people take it as a question or a silent cry out for help. I kind of pisses me off, so when they ask if I'm okay, I can honestly respond "I was just fine before you asked." I don't know why it makes me frustrated, but it does. That is why I'm a woman in expecting advice. I hate getting it, because if I wanted it, I'm perfectly capable of asking for it, and it's not like I have an overbearing sense of pride that prevents me from asking anything. I can admit my failures (and they are quite prevalent) without smashing my self esteem, but I am a man in giving advice. I catch myself giving unnecessary advice every once in a while which is very humbling. I've found out that I give advice not to offer a solution due to a superiority complex, but rather simply to have them fix the problem and shut up. I know I sound a little bit cold from this post, but it's more of a subconscious thing than anything else. Please try to understand. Thanks! ^.^
SunChilde`s Avatar
Rating Orb SunChilde 23 South Africa CholericPhlegmatic 66C 29F
7 years ago | (4)
Depends from whom, and for what reasons, the advice is coming my way. I tend to have more girl friends than guy friends, but I do have a fair (read: excessive) amount of each.
The only time I drop advice is when I'm sincerely worried someone hasn't noticed some facet of something, and they are about to shoot themselves in the foot.
Likewise, if someone points out some aspect of a situation that I hadn't been aware of, I'm happy. Generally if someone offers any UNIQUE perspective, or one that it would be unlikely for me to know or have noticed, I'm happy.
Only time I get bothered is when someone tells me something truly obvious, but even then, it's more a tiresome thing than an annoying thing (think homework versus getting slapped).
I think the internet does call more of that behavior out though. Knowledge of a person on the internet is incredibly detached from reality: we know some intimate details about a person, but very little about their actual temperament or the real motivations about them. We also only see the mask of the person, intentional or unintentional, we can only really see what they put out. Most people don't really indulge in an honest opinion of themselves; in real life it is pretty difficult to hide it, whereas on the internet, it isn't.
When we share intimate details with people in real life, honest advice can honestly help. However, on these interwebs, we get some weird intimate details about (in this case) Pseudo, and we want to help, but we've never sat down face to face, so we don't have that innate understanding that (usually) comes with real interaction.
Anyhow - bit of a ramble - advice to me, like most things, is mostly neutral, the intention behind it, the meaning, the quality thereof is what determines its value to me. ^_^
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