Category: Weekly Updates
Thank you to the few peopel who bought the [MARDEK Piano Collections] thing I released last week. I appreciate it!
Though sales weren't as high as I was hoping, which is why I'm mentioning it here again now.
I've been working for the past month or so on a 'secret game', which I've put as my Current Project under the name 'CBC'; an acronym of the title I won't mention yet.
As you can see, at the time of writing it's 60% complete; I'm making good progress. The actual figure might be higher than that, though.
I've done all the engine stuff, so the game fully works and everything; all that's left is the content. There will be four fairly big 'levels', each with dozens of 'areas' each, and I've finished the first level and started work on the second. If all goes well, each level should take about a week or so, or less if I'm quick, meaning I could have the game out in maybe a month or so? I hope. Yes, hopefully it'll be out for Christmas... Hmm. Bad timing, that, it seems; people won't want to focus on Flash games right after getting better games as presents, maybe.
Anyway, I'm still excited about working on this game and I'll definitely complete it. I want it to be a sort of surprise though, which is why I'm not talking much about it.
Hmm, what else...?
Oh, right. I haven't checked any of my messages since I went away on the trip almost two months ago, so if you've sent me an email or PM during that time and I've seemed to ignore it, that's why.
I've been meaning to get around to them since I got back, but I seem to have developed some fear of checking messages that started when I released MARDEK 3... I got scared back then of finding things from sponsors in my inbox, even though I SHOULD have been eager to check, but then I put off checking for a day, two days, three, a week, two weeks, a months, two months... and it got to the point where I was scared of checking because things would have built up and I might have disappointed people by not replying promptly. So, I thought, not knowing that I HAD disappointed people was better than finding out and feeling horribly bad!!1
Irrational, that, but I was going through a hard time, I suppose, with the release of MARDEK.
Actually, I'm scared of doing the sponsorship stuff for this next game because I feel I embarrassed myself and handled things REALLY badly with MARDEK, and didn't reach its full potential; I never even uploaded it to Newgrounds or anything. Maybe I'll have to do that some time soon.
I never finished the Walkthrough either, though I promised I would, but I don't know if I'm in the right state of mind anymore... Creative people such as myself tend to want to Move On from old projects when they're done...
And I was really terrible when it came to replying to sponsors' emails and so on. I was slow about it, probably said weird things... Maybe they thought I was some kind of *retard* or something?! I don't know, but I worry since I'm not impressed by my performance.
It was perhaps because I'd spent so much time and emotional investment on MARDEK 3, and felt drained and a bit maddened during the difficult sponsorship stuff...
(It was difficult because I'm no good at talking to people of authority; I have this innate 'know your place' mentality, you see, which makes it easy enough to talk to people as the admin here since I 'have authority', but which turns me into a simpering wreck when it comes to talking to someone I regard as higher above me on this subconscious hierarchy, such as the owners of websites, creators of Flash games, etc; I'd never, ever have the confidence to contact other Flash developers like people here can contact me, since I'd feel like a nobody and like I should not be a nuisance to them, or that I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by saying something out of order...)
Uh... Anyway! o_O
THIS turned into something I didn't mean to ramble about! I meant to just give an update about my game-making progress, but, uh... I suppose I'll leave what I wrote as it is for the sake of interest and to make myself cringe or something later. I feel like though I mess things up when it comes to communications, I'd like to explain myself but hmm, don't have the confidence to contact people directly; I'd only be a bother and they've likely forgotten all about it.
Sigh! I'm so mentally stable, me!
Anyway, I'm going to try to get better at communication in general, if I can. I'll try to go through my PMs and emails, so if you get a reply to something you said ages ago to me, that'll be why.
I may also look more into Facebook... That seems like a land of opportunities of various kinds. I'll need to overcome my paralysing fear of seeing photos of online people though. Hmm.