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Pseudolonewolf`s Avatar Weekly Update Sun 20th Sep 2009 5:32pm

Category: Weekly Updates

Hmm... I think I probably DO have some kind of Depression-like thing, which affects me psychologically. It's not so bad that I spend all day in bed crying or contemplating suicide or anything, but it seems that I go through cycles or something and at times just go days feeling 'fatigued' and bitter and like I don't have the energy to really work on things that I need to. I feel MENTALLY exhausted or something... but perhaps this could be because I never actually give myself proper *days off* and instead just feel I should work every day and instead procrastinate a lot...
(I would thank you not to suggest solutions for my 'depression', by the way. For some reason, I hate 'advice' about that, especially since it's usually subjective so that what works for someone else is what they suggest, even though it'd make me worse; "go out and have fun with friends" and such, usually. Or "see a therapist!", which is worse...)

ANYWAY, I've yet to fully finish the plot events of MARDEK 3 even though I should have done days ago! Mainly because all that I need to do now is WRITING based, and that isn't exactly my strong point at all. I'm not, nor have I ever been, a competent writer, so I seem to feel worried a lot whenever it comes to writing dialogue because I want it to be perfect and for it to tie into the bigger picture to give the whole game a deeper feel, yet I KNOW that it won't be as good as I want it to be so, uh, I put it off... Having no clear idea of what to write is also a reason I put it off.
So for the last few days I've sort of felt like this bit of necessary writing is a barrier of sorts. I've done the final battles and stuff, but I just need to do characters' reactions to the events, and I'm not certain how they should react...
I'll get to it at some point though... It won't take long when I do.

I've also been preparing somewhat for my girlfriend's visit (doing shopping and making payments and getting details together and stuff), which is in less than two weeks! it's very exciting, since we see eachother so rarely but want to see eachother so much. We talk online for like 6-10 hours a day, every day, and we're both very eager and excited to meet again and do stuff we can't do over the internet, and, uh... that's sort of making it harder to focus on games too.

There are two weeks between now and then though, so I'll easily have MARDEK's main plot done by then. I don't know how much progress I'll make on the OTHER stuff that needs to be done in the game, but I'll be focusing on only it until it's all done, so, uh... yes! Let's hope it's out before the year's end!

Overall, nothing significant to report this week...

Oh, I DID update the [Temperaments page] though. It's not fully finished yet, but I'll need to do THAT in the next few days too!
(And other site-related things like comment values... hmm...)
70 comments

 

70 Commentson 39 roots

Strongman628`s Avatar
Rating Orb Strongman628 12 CholericMelancholic 10C 1F
8 years ago | (1)
I'm very very very very very very very very very hungry...
daredevil009`s Avatar
Rating Orb daredevil009 21 MelancholicCholeric 58C 2F
8 years ago | (1)
Pseudo, are you almost going to see your girlfriend ? Can't you just finish mardek three first
and then go to your girlfriend ? That would be really apriciated. You only have to do the last bit afterall.
Pseudolonewolf`s Avatar
Rating Orb A β Pseudolonewolf 23 United Kingdom MelancholicPhlegmatic 2257C 559F
8 years ago | (0)
I am going to be spending time with my girlfriend in five days and I'm preparing for the trip at the moment. I need to do more than just 'the last bit'; I need to add LOADS of sidequests and refinements and other minor things even though the main plot would be done. Then I'd need to do the sponsorship stuff, which takes weeks. It's not feasible to 'just finish it' in five days after working on it for years...
daredevil009`s Avatar
Rating Orb daredevil009 21 MelancholicCholeric 58C 2F
8 years ago | (1)
ok srry for that than, i wish you much luck with firequil though.I really hope that this site still stands in six weeks Due to anarachy problems "points to comment below".
DetroitLionsFan`s Avatar
Rating Orb DetroitLionsFan 16 United States PhlegmaticSanguine 188C 99F
8 years ago | (1)
Anarchy shall live again!! lolz! -filler to make this comment long enough-
Greggor`s Avatar
Rating Orb Greggor 22 United States CholericSanguine 5C 2F
8 years ago | (1)
Hey Pseudo!

Have fun with Firequill!
Good luck with Mardek; I'm sure it will come to you.
And take it easy... Spend some time taking care of you?

Also, I think Squall from Final Fantasy VIII fits perfectly into Choleric/Phlegmatic, if you're looking for ideas of people/characters to add to the list.
Malfury`s Avatar
Rating Orb Malfury 16 Canada PhlegmaticCholeric 26C 158F
8 years ago | (0)
Hey, Pseudo, just relax buddy. Concentrate on the important things for your life, and on the things that matter. The rest of us will live if you have to push back the deadlines so you can...prepare. Good luck with Firequill, eh.
Colev`s Avatar
Rating Orb Colev 19 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic 27C 32F
8 years ago | (0)
I'd aim to look at what's up and coming after you finish your work, which puts you in the mood to finish it as you look forward to getting other "important things" out the way. Then you can devote yourself fully and effectively to whatever you are anticipating. Don't forget your sense of duty as a motivator, and keep your source of pride (perhaps existing in what you have already accomplished, which is pretty
substantial in my eyes) so that it may convince you that you're perfectly capable of finishing these projects.

Know that all of these depressing aspects are insubstantial in comparison to how you feel for your girlfriend and your beliefs. Don't let them get in the way, and shadow who you really are: a guy confident to take up a whole lot of solo projects and finish them with a light-hearted grace. Also, don't sweat about what your shortcomings are; compared to your strengths, your weaknesses aren't noticeable from what I've seen from you, Psuedo. Hang in there.
Fatalis`s Avatar
Rating Orb Fatalis 16 United States Sanguine 29C 44F
8 years ago | (0)
I think I am a good writer. If you need any help, just ask me!

Good luck, pseudo!
Zeruel`s Avatar
Rating Orb Zeruel 19 Poland Melancholic 22C 1F
8 years ago | (0)
Hello. As a fellow writer I have an advice for you. You will most likely treat it as worthless because I'm not saying anything unusual. If you have a problem with what kind of reaction should a character have than use your gift of deep introspection. You can imagine or even build a model of some other humans personality if you spend enough time with it. For example Mardek is a kind of Lawful person who would feel very uncomfortable when something wrong is happening and he is brave enough to stop it. Emela on the other hand is kind of introvert so her reactions would be colder and far lees emotional. She would suffer in the inside.. maybe talk about it with someone close but more likely keep it to herself.

I wish I could help you in writing the dialogues but it is too much sacrifice for me. Waiting so long for the episode 3 and finally spoil myself by learning the plot before playing it ;/

Anyway, good luck.
Pseudolonewolf`s Avatar
Rating Orb A β Pseudolonewolf 23 United Kingdom MelancholicPhlegmatic 2257C 559F
8 years ago | (0)
'How they would react' in this case is more a matter of, uh, how the story should go... Mostly, it's whether they should draw attention to and comment on a certain event or ignore it; my planning for the later story doesn't take either into account but how they did react there would affect a lot of character interactions in future.
If they don't respond to it very much, then it'll be easier to keep things 'going as they are', but if they DO, it might affect all their future actions OR it would seem weird if it DIDN'T after they reacted to it... So I'm having to decide what would be best for the story.
Encompass`s Avatar
Rating Orb Encompass 22 Slovenia MelancholicPhlegmatic 11C 57F
8 years ago | (0)
Best for the story or best for the character images? The way I see it now you are trying to decide which characters would continuously (throughout the story) react to a certain type of circumstance. The best way to go about it would probably be to have each character respond to the same number of circumstance types. Like two or three. You shouldn't make them respond to too few so they won't feel undeveloped nor to too many because this is what defines their personality for us players and if they were to respond to everything then we wouldn't know what to think of them anymore (they can't stand up for everything). You'd also be giving them too much spotlight. Now make a list of which types of situations each character could respond to and pick the few that fit best. Better yet; make a situation type/character response table so you won't leave otherwise interesting situations without a comment (you can always have side characters cover those - just alter their pre-planned habits or quirks a tad). The main characters should cover any important situation types yet still respond to a few other situations in order to have a personality. Finally, in some cases picking one character over another can make the situation humorous, and running gags are also an asset to the story.
1 Reply
sfxmaiden`s Avatar
Rating Orb sfxmaiden 18 United States Melancholic 10C 0F
8 years ago | (0)
All I can say is I hope you may find a solution for your anxiety that works for you.
that1kid`s Avatar
Rating Orb that1kid 16 United States SanguineCholeric 6C 0F
8 years ago | (0)
You know, ive been checking this site ever since mardek 2 was released and i have been faithfully reading your updates and loved every game youve put out so far.

well anyways now to what i wanted 2 say. i have been diagnosed with several mental disorders. (add, adhd and a depression disorder) ive been dealing with them for years. and i gotta say you sound alot like me. i have fervor at projects (in my case college homework and things around home relationships etc. etc.) but after a while i just lose my passion for it and it becomes a major chore for me to finish what i started no matter how excited i was in the first place. and then i get frustrated with myself cuz no matter how hard i try i just cant seem to get any work done even when i am ligetimatly putting time into whatever it is im supposed to.

I just recently had my prescriptions run out and at first i had a ton of problems, pretty much just everything i just stated but on a much more extreme level then before. and anyways i couldnt afford to get rechecked for my problems. so i looked up some naturally cures and i found acouple of interesting things... maybe you should try it? ive started jogging or biking daily taking some b vitamin supplements and a natural seratonin (a chemical your body makes naturally that when you are deficient in you can become depressed, and have add and ocd disorders) supplement called 5 htp (its a pure form of the protien your body turns into seratonin)

and for the first couple of weeks i didnt notice any diffrence but now its helped me a ton, even more then my prescriptions ever did.

oh well thats all i wanted 2 say, love the games keep up the good work and dont feel guilty about taking time off of your work 2 spend time with your girlfriend, you deserve it and need it.

peace
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