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Comment #58084

Review: Another One?  
Jakers`s Avatar
Rating Orb Jakers 18 Australia PhlegmaticMelancholic 39C 3F
6 years ago | (1)
I haven't played the game, but I got bored of the Epic War series pretty early on. My comment is more to do with the writing. While the content is all there, and it's easy to understand, which is good, the sentence structure is clunky and stiff, which is not good. This was most noticeable in the fourth paragraph of the first body section. Which was written in phrases. So the ideas didn't get transferred properly. Making it difficult to understand. See what I mean?

All in all, a good review, you just need to work on your sentence structure.

Also, the dev's name is Sudarto, rather than Sadarto.
Khanster0001`s Avatar
Rating Orb Khanster0001 15 United Kingdom MelancholicSanguine 40C 17F
6 years ago | (0)
As I have been told by many English teachers, my sentence structure definitely needs work. I tried my best to make it sound smooth; but I'm not so sure it is.
Jakers`s Avatar
Rating Orb Jakers 18 Australia PhlegmaticMelancholic 39C 3F
6 years ago | (1)
It's just a bit clunky, and reading your responses to comments, I don't think you actually speak like that. The problem with your sentence structure is that it sounds unnatural, so just write it as if you're saying it to one of your friends. That way, you'll get a nicely flowing paragraph, and if you fill it with the kind of content that this review contains, you can't go wrong.