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ForumRant Don't click that [Reply] button!

Don't click that [Reply] button!5 Posts

CtG`s Avatar
24yr
Philippines
MelancholicSanguine
213F
137 / 3
Rating Orb E CtG, True Neutral Wizard – joined 8 years ago ..XXX.XXX3 years ago
My parents and teachers all used to tell me when I was younger that "Experience is the best teacher". Of course, during my high school [secondary] days, my mind was still not that mature, so I took that as is. A little later, a lecturer on some seminar I forgot said that experience isn't necessarily the best teacher, especially if you need to get hurt for it. For him, the experience of OTHERS is the best teacher. After all, not only do you get to witness important lessons about the realities of life, you are also spared from getting hurt. That is always nice.

Over the past month or so, I've been quietly away from Newfig, and I'm happy to say that I still am. What feels like the very day I left though, quite a lot of Fig drama unfolded. I was tempted on more than one occasion to break my exile and return to Fig Hunter, but perhaps fortunately, I did not. Seems that everyone who got involved in this Fig drama received undue stress directly as a result of said drama. And the person who seems most affected, aside from the people who were banned, is Rating Orb A β Pseudolonewolf himself. His actions have upset a lot of people, whether those results are justifiable or not, and those people have retaliated and caused Pseudo more stress. And all that fighting made Newfig a steadily toxic online environment. And THAT is where I realized that he gets more stressed because he opens the opportunities for people to upset him. How? By talking more and responding on Fig Hunter!

I've told him before that the best solution for him is to seek out actual friends who will console him when he needs emotional support, instead of broadcasting on Fig Hunter, for reasons everyone should know by now. He already has his introvert site! Why should he feel the need to keep talking about his feelings on Fig Hunter when he already knows what will come of it? I understand that he considers Fig Hunter his "home", and the members therein his "guests". However, Pseudo didn't conduct himself as the most gracious host, either. He argued with people and openly called them names. Whether or not he is justified in doing so is irrelevant. What matters is that he doesn't have the time to be doing things like this. Talking back at these people is a complete waste of his time, when he could and should be working on his games/art or studying for university.

His purpose for posting is to "get people on his side"? But most people are *already on his side*. Despite his best efforts to respond to everyone the right way, he always still gets hurt for it because some people feel the need to attack him for whatever reason. By the way, I'm not trying to attack him. This is all an elaborate story-intro to the actual point of my rant.

And the point of my four-paragraph introduction is the lesson I learned from this whole online drama series:
Sometimes, the best response is to restrain yourself from responding!

While Pseudo and Co. wage their war on Newfig, I've been happily posting here, and reaping a few green orbs for it. During the times that I didn't get green orbs, for example on short comments that I never wanted to get rated anyway, I chose to stay quiet about it NOT BECAUSE I want to show that I'm emotionally strong, or being the bigger man or anything. Of course I get upset about it. I like green! Their cyan-and-lower ratings not only bring down my average, but also look ugly on my green-themed posts. Basically, it rustles my jimmies by more than a little bit. Before, as some of you know, I might have started to complain about I don't want my comments to get rated when it's something trivial. Yet I choose not to reply because I know that what I have to say will likely be met with hostility, based on my experience with Fig Hunters.

That's where I feel my Fig Hunter experience became a lot less stressful, and I didn't dread going to Fig Hunter and reading comments. I know I didn't say or do anything against anyone; I know no one will have anything nasty to say about me. And that, for me, removed a lot of the toxic feel of the atmosphere whenever I visit this site, or Newfig. I was literally just a spectator in the drama series. No stress, no worry. Plus I don't have to spend an hour of my precious time thinking of how to tell someone he's wrong. I say precious because my time is really precious these days. Getting up at 7am to go to work at 8am, and then staying at work until midnight... Not exactly a healthy way to live. Last thing I need is to be involved in internet drama.

It's no longer worth it sometimes to reason with everyone. For one, not everyone can easily be reasoned with. Another, I wouldn't exactly be considerate if I asked them to change to suit my tastes. Also, my time is so precious these days that I'd much rather be playing Starcraft 2 or doing work or reading Certain Someone's PMs, than talking with people who just have a strong opposing opinion. It's just not worth it! Just keep it in, and hope I come back better next time. This is something I wish Pseudo would understand by now: He knows he's not emotionally durable when being directly attacked, so he'd be better off sharing his feelings on his introvert site exclusively. He planned it right the first time by keeping personal things on that site, and the nerdy stuff on Fig Hunter [I'm a nerd!!1].

It feels to me now that someone who couldn't restrain himself from wasting time in useless arguments is someone, who, well, still lacks "maturity on the internet", or something like that. Of course, I was also like that before. I had a hunger to "be right", I couldn't stand someone having a different opinion than I do, so I must do all I can to convince them. It'd be quite the tough lesson to learn for someone who basically "works at home" and controls his own time [though I really wish I had this luxury]. I guess you could say I was forced to choose between satiating my need to be right, and not collapsing at work.

The failure, therefore, comes on breaking off that plan. Understandably, when you've had a habit of responding to everything, you'd be itching to reply when you feel like someone says wrong things about you. It really takes a lot of self-control to keep myself from logging back into Newfig. I did so just now though, for a very different reason. I hope it wasn't a mistake. o.o
But anyway, for anyone who thinks I'm just a "super-mature professional" guy who doesn't show feelings whatsoever, I'm actually more emotional than most people here- or at least, more emotional than how most people here conduct themselves. So I'm not saying this from a "This is easy" perspective. It's more of a "This is hard, but will benefit you more in the long run" thing I'm saying. The really tough part, for me, is when you feel your reply is *so obvious* and so quick that it would seem like allowing misinformation to spread if you didn't respond. It gets so annoying when you feel the response is too obvious. What I do here is to keep in mind that anything I say can and will just make things worse.

Other things could work for you. The important thing is that whatever your response is, it has less than 1% chance of actually working, and something like 30% chance of making it worse [For Pseudo, the figure is closer to 70%]. Unless it's something so serious that someone's health is on the line, it's just not worth it! It's not about showing yourself as more mature, or not caring. It's really about keeping things from getting worse, and saving your precious time, effort, and emotional well-being! If you need to vent, it's generally more effective to talk to a friend, or take it out on a game.

Thanks for reading my rant. Here's an album of my
Upgraded Command Center with New Keybored: [COMMAND CENTER]

I'd appreciate green orbs, by the way. After all, who doesn't like the fake internet points?
I miss the times and the people.
  (10)

david s`s Avatar
19yr
United States
MelancholicCholeric
898F
51 / 23
Rating Orb david s, Lawful Good Paladin – joined 8 years ago ..XXX.XXX3 years ago
Oh my oh my... who could've given you those cyan and blue orbs, I wonder?



...


>:3


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Okay, so I figured that you'd be more open to honest ratings, but I also know that you have a strong aversion to the beautiful glow of cyan, and I totally understand because I'm like a lower level version of you on that whole "I WANT PERFECTION!" thing. I want perfection and better, too, however I'm a blue orb with no hope of being cyan now, since so many people have rated me, and so low for the most part, so I'll never see the light of cyan as a whole. However, I've managed to make some green posts and stuff, so that's about the most that matters.

Still, while I totally understand you on that, and I can agree with not wanting cyans and whatnot, and I try to be a nice person and all that... Well, I can't deny that I'm secretly a heartless, sadistic arse who gets a little bit of pleasure from seeing you fail because you're better than me and I envy you. You should be proud of yourself, I actually envy you in some aspects, and there are few people I ever envy, it's really not on my pallet of vulgar emotions. I don't know that it's really totally sadism, actually. I'm saying that because it makes sense. Perhaps I'm really just trying to not hold a double standard, and rating all posts based on the almighty unbendable rules.( Rating Orb david s, reporting for duty, more L than G.) I like you, don't misunderstand, but I also dislike seeing you so successful, but I also refuse to allow myself to do anything to bring you down that I consider unfair. The problem there is "Who died and made Rating Orb david s the world authority on what's fair?" to which I'll say that no one did, I'm just assuming a position I really shouldn't. Or something.

(Please use your own discretion in figuring out the truth here, I feel like I may be being a bit hard on myself. Hehe... hard on.)

All in all, I'll try to restrain myself a little more on rating your comments... if that pleases you... though I must say it's rather hard for me to hold back on things like that. I like to rate everything that I read, and I like to read most of the things on FH, because that's who I am. I like to cover all my bases and know what I'm reading and read everything that's going on so that I'm never caught off guard, because I can't stand something like that. Mno.

By the way, I already do actually ignore some of your comments, at least in terms of rating them.

In case anyone who doesn't understand is reading this, while any member can rate things within a month of them being posted, most members don't rate things a lot. I happen to be an exception here, often rating literally thousands of posts. So basically, most likely over 80% of the ratings Caramel's talking about here are from me.

ANYWAY BACK TO THE REST OF YOUR RANT THREAD THING!

I know it's ironic to reply after so much was said about not replying to things, but I don't plan to argue! I plan to agree with you and support what you're saying, but also propose a different perspective.

You're avoiding FH, and this is certainly quite wise. Given your situation, I'm pretty sure that you'd just destroy your "free time", which sounds to me more like the time you get to sleep after your period of enslavement... I also think more people should take the approach of staying out of it. Many of my friends are doing that.

Personally, I'm in it and not in it. I'm learning about what's going on so that I know who to keep close and who to keep closer, so to speak... Throughout this incident, I'm just trying to be political, and as a result I'm just being the worse kind of person, manipulating and finding information so that I can achieve my own goals. Basically I have my goals, and I'll let other people judge for themselves whether they think my goals are righteous or wrongeous. I should like to think I'm the saviour, but realistically I'll admit that what I'm doing is rather vile. Let's see if the ends justify the means?

But this individual incident aside, normally I avoid disputes.

Why? How? I gave up caring!

I think this is an even better approach than Caramel's, here. It's also harder, though. If you stop caring about the way someone argues, if you get tired or arguing, then you can just walk away and be like "Eh... I disagree with you, but I don't care enough to say anything about it, so do whatever". The great parts: it doesn't hurt you, and it infuriates the people that just want to argue! PERFECT! 8D

I'm just saying that it's best if you can manage to no longer feel the need to argue. I've just stopped caring about all these arguments on religion and stuff, which really make up about half of Fig Hunter. I've also stopped being so strongly on one side or the other about the things I do care about or get involved with.

In a nutshell, I'm just passively sitting on Fig, posting where I want to and so on. Of course, when it comes to my friends, I'll still get involved. Because loyalty and all that.(6w5 FTW!)

Spuds is really ruining himself, though. You're right. However, he's dug himself too deep in the rabbit's hole, or something. If he just up-and-stopped right now, everyone would leave FH, so he needs to be more... diplomatic. I think. Then again, I'm not in his shoes, so I have no idea what to do. All I know is that he's in a great deal of pain because he has a massive chunk of his community ticked at him.

I may have been hated back in my day, but I was never hated by more than a thousand people. Pseudo is hated by many many people now, and I can't imagine how that feels, so I want to do what I can to make people not hate him as much.

Uh... I'd talk more about stuff and things, but honestly, I just don't feel like it.(Like I said before about not caring so much to argue for hours like I used to.) So, uh... thanks for reading this, please give it a dozen green orbs hello hello.
ALL HAIL YALORT!!!1! Also, I PUGS!!
  (4)

Neah`s Avatar
16yr
Philippines
MelancholicSanguine
23F
14 / 0
Rating Orb Neah, True Neutral Fig Hunter – joined 6 years ago ..XXX.XXX3 years ago
I'm sorry... I couldn't help myself. I clicked it. ;_;
Oh wait, I clicked [Post]... Never mind! No harm done!

I should be posting in that other thread of yours, and honestly I do have an answer for it. Then, I have a shorter answer for it... Both of which, I never really posted... Moving on.

I quite agree with you there. I actually HAD to train myself to hold my responses growing up because my family is correct and right and perfect and blah blah. Anyway, I'm not too sure about the long run benefits though.

I'm certainly reaping the consequences of my "consideration for others." Sure, good people are treated well and so on, but hey the world is, of course, unfair. Some people just see passiveness as an open invitation to wreak havoc since "hey, you're not upset; I'm getting my say. Everybody wins!" Often times, they have made me want to rant and rage, but shmooz I just don't have it in me to do that publicly. I mean just ranting to a friend is difficult enough. More often than not, people are too consumed by their own misery to have the time or effort to share with others (like say me).

I'm not saying your idea is bad. I honestly think it's effective and good. I just have my doubts about the stress. I can't give a better idea though, so bite me.

Not unlike you and your exile, I have also maintained a distance with Fig lately. I'm actually glad I did what I did when I did. I even wish I did it earlier (Yay! So many did's). Unfortunately though, some things in Fig just won't maintain that distance and would seek me out. See what I get for being nice? People like me so much that when I say quit bothering me with this drama, they would seek me out to tell me about the drama. Worse, they'd start some drama about me leaving. Worst, they'd seek me to contribute to the drama. I wonder if Pseudo experiences that too.

It would be so nice and ideal to actually keep away. It just would be even better if people don't regularly express deliver you their toxic wastes.

Oh look I'm ranting in public! -inserts achievement here and awards and chocolated gold medals- (Yes, it should be a word if it isn't.)


Anyway, my point is, Easy, your command center looks shmoozing awesome and alien and cool in the dark and lights and weee.

P.S. What's wrong with cyan orbs?? D:
They're pretty. ;_;
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."- M. Twain
  (6)

Avarion`s Avatar
23yr
United Kingdom
PhlegmaticSanguine
9F
19 / 2
Rating Orb Avarion, True Neutral Yalortian – joined 7 years ago ..XXX.XXX3 years ago
It's worth checking it briefly, I messaged you when you were last on. :P Then get the hell out of there, the place is a warzone. Also, that's one sweet keyboard you've got there. Construction complete!
  (3)

TTophat`s Avatar
17yr
United States
CholericPhlegmatic
50F
11 / 0
Rating Orb TTophat, True Neutral Mathemagician – joined 7 years ago ..XXX.XXX3 years ago
My gods, I miss this place. Archive that is.

Figs used to be a place that I would come to calm my puerile misanthropy, to forget about the petty dramas of life. And guess what it is now. Petty dramas about people I never had a strong association with in the first place. But now everyone must get involved, and despite the fact that everyone's been clamoring for an exodus for the past two months, AIN'T NOBODY'S MOVED YET. Both sides just keep trying to get back at the other, and nothing is happening. Just constant, pointless drama that makes me stay up late writing responses to a thread on a site that shouldn't be alive.

I can't avoid figs anyway. I have to have people to share things with, even if that list is dwindling down to Tinge, Chikin and Vinne.
I MISS THE OLDFIGS. COME BACK. I'M A WRECK WITHOUT YOU.
When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
  (3)

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