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ForumChat How do you know how attractive you are?

How do you know how attractive you are?3 Posts

david s`s Avatar
United States
51 / 23
Rating Orb david s, Lawful Good Paladin – joined 8 years ago ..XXX.XXX2 years ago
I'm seriously unsure of how attractive I am to the opposite sex.

There are many problems to finding out how attractive you actually are.

For one thing, if I ask someone who knows me if I'm attractive or not, chances are really high that they'll try to say something nice, whether it's true or not, to make me think I'm attractive. Because it's rude to tell someone they ugly AF, and I only have a few friends that would do that. I also happen to have a few friends that would tell me I'm ugly, even if I'm not ugly.

Of course, I could ask people I don't know, and then I'd look like a total freak, asking strangers if I'm sexy er summat.

But what really matters to me isn't if my friends think I'm attractive, or if I think I'm attractive, or if random strangers think I'm attractive. I only particularly care if *people I think are attractive think I'm attractive*. And since I'm really really awkward, I have no way of telling.

I think I'm probably a 2, maybe as high as a 4, but for all I know I could be a 6 and not know it.(Unlikely, though. I'm pretty sure I'm a 2.) The problem is that the girls I'm interested in are probably around a 7 by most people's standards, or a 9-10 by mine.

But even assuming I did know how attractive I am, I still have utterly no clue how to talk to girls, so it doesn't even matter much! I mean, sure I can make friends with girls, who all already have boyfriends... sorry, I'm ranting now.

Anyway, what methods do you guys use to tell if you're attractive? A few techniques I've heard already are as follows:

Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend tells you

This is one source of feedback, so it can't be a lot to go on, but I'm sure it's helpful. Personally I don't have any exes or past relationships to speak of, so I'm still totally lost.

Post your picture on a random website anonymously and ask if you're attractive

For one thing, you don't know who is saying you're attractive. For another thing, you don't know if they're being serious. For another thing, the demographic of the internet is different from the "real" world, so you can't be sure it would be universally accurate. Personally I don' think I'd ever want to do something like that, and I could really never be sure it'd be helpful.

Speed dating

That's a no from me, I'd never stoop to doing something like that. That being said, I'm sure some people have tried it, with mixed results.


That's all I have to go on myself, and I can't say I impress myself in a good way. Though I do impress myself in the "holy schist I need to hide under a rock and die" kind of way.

Your parents telling you

Ah. Yes. As accurate as a Carcano carbine with broken sights.


So... got any better ideas?

Ribbit`s Avatar
3 / 0
Rating Orb Ribbit, Neutral Good Philosopher – joined 6 years ago ..XXX.XXX1 year ago
Today I noticed by accident the site is up again. I mean to remember it was down for some time, showing the same error message still shown by Exquisite Corpse.

Anyway, no, I have no idea how to tell wether I am attractive and also no way for you to tell wether you're attractive. I have pretty much exactly the same problems as you, except that I like to believe I could be potentially attractive if I tried to. Which I won't because if it turns out I'm not that would be disappointing.

One potential way would be to look for dudes that look like you. It should be somewhat possible to do so objectively. Then either look if people find them attractive or if they at least have girlfriends.

One hypothetical way would be to go out and party a lot. Haha, sure, whynot. But seriously going to places where people usually try to flirt might bring people to try to flirt with you and that would tell you you are potentially attractive to them. Of course several problems remain. Like, how do you tell if someone wants to flirt with you and not just feel obliged to have conversation, because of social behaviour? And, also how to survive the panic attacks that follow you not being able to integrate into the group, or any group, for that matter, because you have no stories to tell that wouldn't reveal soon that you are a freak that usually does not go to place to drink and party hard?

People say there is a lid for every pot, but I wonder how to find the corresponding cooking utensil too, when the usual way in today's age seems to be doing things way out of my comfort zone.

I also was told, or have read somewhere, that one step towards being attractive is believing yourself attractive. I also have read opinions from women that think chubby men are sexy. A little belly is apparently not frowned upon by everyone. So that's that.
And then they panicked - like sheeps usually do

david s`s Avatar
United States
51 / 23
Rating Orb david s, Lawful Good Paladin – joined 8 years ago ..XXX.XXX1 year ago
Well for me, most people that look like me are either hippies or Otaku/weeaboos, and since I'm currently in the two "social" clubs on campus for both of those, I suppose it actually helps me out a lot to know there are other people that look like me.

Of course none of them have girlfriends. Some of them are bisexual, and still have neither boyfriends nor girlfriends.

The girls in both clubs seem more interested in girls as well. I figure we should prally form alliances with the LGBTTTQAAAMPP organizations. But that's beside the point, since I'm still straight, and that's not relevant to whether or not I'm attractive.

My best guess is that other people do figure out if they're attractive by going to parties, and people like me don't go to parties, so we don't know if we're attractive. Like, the clubs I'm in are people bumbling about doing... whatever. Not getting girlfriends, though.

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