|Location:|| United States|
|MSN? Mild slime narcotic? Yes!|
- Fantasy Books
- Playing video games
- Strategy games like Blokus
- ART MAN!!!
- The triumph of pacifism
- The color red
- Medieval lore and my book Impending Darkness
- Arguments and Debates of any sort
- Tests and quizzes
- Sex talk and inappropriate jokes
- Mashed Potatoes (I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
- Curse words/mean people
- Depression (gods I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
- Asperger's syndrome
I guess it's about time I gave a description of myself. Will anyone care? Probably not, but I'll tell anyone who's interested anyways.
Come on people, keep the site alive! We need the breath of life!
My personal opinion of myself is very low. I care about what others think a lot more than I care about myself, so I get into bouts of depression quite easily and often if anything hinders me from helping people out or accomplishing my goals. I'm sort of a perfectionist, especially when it comes to art, and I tend to cut myself off from the rest of the world, but I always think there is room for change in immoral people and druggies of any sort. Kind of a one-sided view, huh? I almost never get angry and I tend to wallow in my own and other people's problems a lot. To put it short, I'm a people-pleaser, so I really don't hate anyone.... I don't hate anything come to think of it. Sure, there's things I "don't like" but nothing I "hate".
I wish there was no such thing as violence. I'm a major pacifist (which is unusual considering I like things like manga and T rated video games) and I'll rush to help anyone if they get injured. Along with that, I'm an atheist (some people may hate me just for saying this, which I don't really understand) and a pretty solid believer of evolution, but I accept what other people believe in and I don't hate a person for believing in whatever they do, even if they hate me for being an atheist. I have virtually no envy over anything, and I'd gladly give away money for happiness of me or others. I don't like arguing. It's pointless, and although people's views on things are revealed when people argue, there's still nothing getting accomplished in doing so.
I'm really bad at socializing, and I get really embarrassed whenever I'm in or trying to start or keep a conversation going. Don't try to debate me on anything because I'll probably just give up my point of view and agree with you. I'm a lazy bum...... which I'm afraid to admit, but it's true. I'm not proud of it, because I fear I could get fat if I keep being as lazy about things as I am.
Yeah, I'll say it. I'm somewhat of an atheist, but not yet a full one. Does that fact make you want to cry? I bet it does. Crybaby.
To be honest, I don't like to talk about religion because, well, it's a touchy subject and many people are very sensitive about it so I try to avoid it as much as possible. Still, I should definitely bring out my views in perspective so people can understand what I think. I believe there is a god who created the planets and the solar system and everything, because really, I mean how else would they be there? Masses of stars colliding into one another? I think not! After that though, he created basic organisms and they just evolved from there. Crazy huh? Well that's what I believe. Different organisms lived in different environments and conditions, so they had to adapt accordingly to whatever situation they were in. Still, my theory doesn't explain how stuff like food came along and all that, so to give you the best answer possible, I'd have to say that god created all that. After that, all that stuff about Adam and Eve and all that stuff I believe is a bunch of baloney. Bold statement huh? Well "let's put a smile on that face." You won't believe what I'm going to say next! I believe that dinosaurs came before humans, and humans are just evolutions of other animals (we are closely related to yeast.......... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!). So, you in shock yet? Choke on that muffin you were eating, reincarnate, and come back here as a person who shoves muffins into other people's mouths so they choke to death and can therefore experience the whims of the almighty shocking evidence Brock just told you? I bet that in five years you'll still be sitting here with your skin melded to this chair with mold growing all over your face. But it gets even more shocking. HUH!!! I'm starting to doubt the existence of Jesus (and I'm hating myself for it)!
Besides some of these atheist views, I also believe in reincarnation. It just sounds so awesome that you just have to believe in it, man. I mean I could be reborn as the next president of my country or as a stoat!
VIEW ON LIFE IN GENERAL
My life, to sum it all up, is depressing. Sometimes, it's so depressing that I miss school days because I'm unable to function well (examples being that I can't listen, have trouble focusing when I want to focus, tiredness, motor coordination and concentration on things is virtually non-existent). When I am depressed, that's all I can really focus on. Days just go by and I barely notice them pass. Weeks go by and I feel like it's only been a day. So time passes quickly for me; almost too quickly.
I generally want my life to be simple and straightforward. No changes whatsoever. I have trouble dealing with change because I generally want things to stay the way they are and I don't want to deal with new things or new troubles along the road. If things do change, it sometimes takes me weeks just to adjust to the situation.
I'm not crazy about the environment or nature or anything, but I'll do what I can to keep everything stable. If a disaster strikes (like hurricane Katrina or the earthquake in Japan) I'll do what I can to help, even if it's not much. I do care that the environment would remain intact, but if the environment and nature isn't in danger in any way, I don't really care about it. For example, there's a beetle problem going around in numerous states that are destroying trees and everything. That is a concern for me. I don't want all the trees in Colorado or wherever destroyed. However, if the beetle problem is ever solved, I don't really care about it from there.
ME GROWING UP
So now you want to my private life, huh? Well you're in luck, because I'm in the mood to tell you (and if you don't want to hear this just don't read this; I don't give a popcorn fart that you want to hear this or not, I'm saying it anyway). My life started out on July 27th, 1994. I was born prematurely and my parents loved me the moment they saw me, even though I looked like a creepy monkey that still hadn't got out of the fetus stage. Of course, I wasn't the only creepy looking one. A minute after, my sister Lauren was born, and another minute later, my brother David. We were triplets. Three ugly, monkey looking babies from hell. We barely survived, and we were so fragile that if our arms were even squeezed they'd probably snap right off (I'm not kidding, my Dad's ring fit all the way up to my shoulder. I was that small).
I don't want to get into huge detail of what happened after that, but let's just say we survived and lived a happy babyhood. And yes, I DO know what happened after that, but you'd have to ask some other time because I'm not telling you what happened after I was born. Deal with it.
So, yes, since I was born prematurely, I was held back in kindergarten because I was 'too small and delicate'. Then, when I turned eight I had a seizure. A short while after my dog Carlie died. That was not a happy year. When I turned around ten we got a new dog and I got a new video game system I would later be addicted to: the game cube. At the time, they were still making games for the game cube, and it was still pretty popular. We got addicted to Super Smash Bros. Melee which eventually led us to be banned from video games for a whole year because that's what we did all day. We didn't even go outside.
Then, we moved to Georgia, and later we moved again to where I currently live, Peoria, IL. At that time, I was about to enter sixth grade, and I was three times as shy as I am now (and I'm VERY shy). I didn't really make any friends that weren't my brother's and sisters until I got into eighth grade, where I made my first friend. Jason Morris. He was a little weird, but he was also easy to get along with and we are still best friends to this day (though he isn't on this site, I don't think). Then, around my freshman year, my depression became serious, and I learned that I had Asbergers and OCD. I went through a short 'suicide' thought period, and I started to miss school because I couldn't think straight, and my Mom wanted to keep me from harming myself. Eventually, I got over the depression only to enter another bout of depression this year, which I am still currently dealing with.
So yeah, that's my life in a nutshell. Short, sweet, and to the point. Just how most people like it. That's all I think.
That's the book I'm currently writing. I just started it but I think a lot of people interested may really like it. It's basically what I'm dedicated to working on right now, and I've finally got the whole plot line figured out. It's about two warring nations, Ipalia and Ocariin, who have been in a pitched battle for over thirteen decades (starting due to an Ocariin solidier named Herons who slaughters everyone in the capital in revenge for them 'supposedly' killing his family, although they had actually died from Herons himself, by accident. The incident drove him completely insane and he convinced himself that Ipalia had somehow done it, a country he hated for no particular reason whatsoever). Herons takes control of half of Ipalia soon after, and decides to slaughter everyone in the town in order to kill his family's 'murderer'. The story starts off in a small faction of Ipalia where the main character, Deravane (pronounced Dare-a-vein), resides. The faction that they live in is remote and has not been attacked, so it is in relative peace for the time being. Then, suddenly, the guardian (basically the protector) of the town is killed and the city goes in panic mode. They immediately hold an election for the next guardian, which Deravane tries out for and becomes a candidate for. On the day of the election, he is given a trainer, Cavar (pronounced Cuh-var), who starts to given him training but then is suddenly halted when the armory in the town is mysteriously ransacked. The election is postponed, and Deravane soon learns about the Black Elite, the group behind the killing of the guardian who work as spies for Herons. He soon after learns of the Dark Rift, a place that had been 'sealed off' due to a freak accident of some kind. In their is supposedly a powerful weapon in which a person gains ultimate power, at a unknown cost. So Cavar and Deravane leave to find this weapon so they can stop Herons, abandoning the guardian ceremony. They later find out Herons has obtained the weapon in the Dark Rift, but has yet to figure out how to use it. Knowing they wouldn't stand a chance against Heron's entire army, the form a guild of their own called the convert, in which they are trying to gather an army to storm Heron's stronghold (or whatever). That's the basics of the book. I don't want to go into the book any further, you'll just have to ask me about it.
PEOPLE ON THIS SITE I LIKE AND DISLIKE
First, the people I really like:
david s, Anonymous412, Pseudolonewolf, dreamgawd, IcyShade, Mania, Supergnash, silveroak3, Zaknafein, SSJZach, megabdi, Hash, KnA and anyone else who likes me. The list will probably be extended later, when I think of more people.
People I dislike:
souleater (He's mean to me for some reason. Don't know why), usually anyone who gives me a low rating for no apparent reason except that they dislike something I said, banned people, mean people, anyone that abuses Pseudolonewolf's name and put DELETED all the time.
Nonexistant so far. I'm a failure of love... and no, I'M NOT GAY!!!!
Don't you dare say depression is 'easy to deal with'. It's not, and if you really believe that, my fat piece of cow lard, than I am afraid that you have been misinformed. Depression is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me, and it is the driving factor of all the sadness in my life. What is depression? Depression is defined as: "severe despondency or dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy." but I think it could be better described as "the driving factor behind why you feel like a piece of crap". Depression is something that is hard to push away, and is often something that is the center of your attention. You can't really think about anything else when you're depressed except for how bad you feel. Talking to an adult I find can really help with depression, but it's always hard to take that step, and usually you won't feel up to it. I can't really give you any advice on how to deal with it besides distracting yourself and concentrating on moving forward in your life. Those two bits of info have really helped me out in my life.
Here's some quotes I have said that I would like to put here. I can't think of any quotes by other people, so... here goes:
1) I tried the lottery the other day. The only thing I came out with was empty hands... now I can't grip anything anymore.
2) I wish that I could get my kids to do things on demand. Then I could just sit on the couch all day and do nothing...
3) Flagpole jumping Olympics on the Moon! Next thing to vault: the school flagpole.
4) Mooning the sun is a bad idea, because you'll only end up with a burned butt.
5) When I lose my sense of direction, then I will never be able to figure out where everything is.
6) Too many people try to be something they're not. Too many try to be something they are and fail miserably.
7) When I get lost in thought, I pull out my compass to guide me in the right direction.
8) The compass isn't working... darn, maybe I should use a sundial (you may not get this one at first, but think for a bit, and you'll understand).
9) Damn those happy campers! They smiled when I told them not to!
10) *in shallow water* HELP ME! I-I can't swim!!!!
11) Where's Waldo? In cybersex??!?!!!? No wonder no one can find him!
Now quotes from others:
1) Be content with what you have and you'll never get what you want. Get what you want and you'll never be content with what you have.
2) Dreecal: I feel shy around girls...
Eragon: So have you tried homosexuality yet?
3) megabdi: I am like the Yeti, cold and awesome.
4) David s: In the history of this site, not everyone has been a hero. Many people have been foiled by the likes of " Alberto", who comes in many forms and tries to taint the virtuous with his lies and hate-filled words.
5) Zaknafein: You are now trapped in a cocoon.
Brock (me): The cocoon is unbreakable, and you cannot remove it in any way.
Zaknafein: The cocoon is closing in on you slowly, squeezing you to death
TTophat: I use the MASTER SWORD to cut out of the cocoon.
Brock: Before you cut out of the cocoon, Link steals the Master sword.
TTophat: HOW THE HELL DID LINK GET IN HERE?
THINGS I'M INTO
3) Video games
6) Playing video games
8) Sleeping and eating cereal (or both)
9) Deugan, the best character in Mardek
10) My family
11) My friends
12) My friends on this site
13) Updating my profile
16) Mardek again!
18) Listening and learning about other's religion
22) Having fun
24) Different cultures
25) Light and Light element
26) Nice people
27) Bubble Wrap
28) Manga and Anime
LIKES LIST (EXPANDED, LIKE SPANDEX)
I've decided to expand on my likes list and give reasons as to why I like the people I do.
david s: An all around good guy. Sure, he may have had a rocky start, but he's gotten so much better and more likable since then. He has good meaningful posts and is very welcoming of new members.
megabdi: Love this guy (not literally). He's nice, cool, supportive, clever, and just awesome. Enough said.
Turtlebug: Probably the most kind person I've ever met.
Dreamgawd: Nice and very forgiving, and very bubbly in personality. She has her own religion, and is just cool all around. She also puts up good avatars....
silveroak3: Not the most active member, but I still like him for some reason. Hmmm...
IcyShade: A cool customer (pun intended). He gives me good ratings and I rather like him. Not much else to say here...
Mania (aka Wackjob): Mania is.. strange, but in a good way. He's hard not to like, and he is rather random, but he makes up for it with his meaningful posts and quirky personality.
Zaknafein: He is cool, and he puts up meaningful posts. He can adjust himself appropriately to any situation, and handles others problems well.
Flemdog42: RAINBOW NINJA! A creative guy who is mature for his age and easy to get along with. He has cool avatars, and he likes art, like me. Yay art!
Hash: *Fistbump* I got along with Hash immediately. We just clicked together I guess, We're like Siamese twins, only closer... And yes, that was supposed to be creepy.
Alphanumerical: Also rather random, but nice enough... He's in chat a lot, and is sometimes perverted, but not often, and not something you can't forget about, right?
TTophat (aka Tophat or PhatT): Evil, malicious TTophat is as evil as they come... And he's perverted, but he's nice and despite his flaws, you can't help but be his friend.
Dorra: One of my closest friends on this site who cares about me and likes a lot of things I like. I haven't known her long, but she's hardly forgettable.
Pseudolonewolf: The creator of this site, who is rather likable and posts updates and makes games. A awesome guy who I wish knew about me more...
rs111: A banned member who was rather clever and funny, in a strange way... sadly, he seems to be turning more troll now that Pseudo banned him.
KnA: A... newer member that I immediately liked. He's nice beyond belief and easy to get along with.
TheMightierWolf: I don't think this guy likes me, but he puts up meaningful posts and is a nice, senior member, so I look up to him somewhat...
Anonymous412: An active member who I like better with each passing day.
LiadyC: A person who I get along with well. I make fun of Liad's grammar constantly, but Its more of a joke than anything else.
Drostie: He is the technical expert, who seems to know all there is to know about tech stuff. Likable, knowledgeable, and very much his age, Drostie seems to know everything I don't.
Omnomynous (aka Omnom or Cookie Monster): A great active member who frequents the chat often. He's easy to get along with and is rather clever. I respect his views, and I hope that we will get to know each other better...
Sameth: All I see is good meaningful posts out of this person, and I sort of look up to the way Sameth acts.
Tripledot: I like this guy a lot, despite his oddities, I get along with him fairly well.
1) Souleater: He gave me a red for no apparent reason! All I did was suggest he improve his grammar, and BOOM! Big fat red right on my user rating list. I also got my second and final red from him for the comment I made to him about improving his grammar. He doesn't care what others think about him, and he disregards the rules. Luckily, he's gone inactive, so there's no more need to worry about him! HA HA HA!
2) Varyx: An overly serious person who is quick to judge people and feels your grammar needs to be 'perfect' to even get a good rating! Also, she doesn't seem to understand my OCD at all, claiming I was 'faking it to get attention' and although I had been a little too descriptive about what I imagine when I think or have an image of me hurting myself (okay, a lot, I'll admit it), I in no way would lie and fake something like that! She says she's never heard of or experienced it, but my psychiatrist knows exactly what I'm talking about, and gives me meds to help solve the problem, saying she's had other people experience the same thing. I'm done talking about this meany, so moving on...
3) Alberto, and his many other aliases: He has created so many accounts, and Pseudo keeps banning him, but the troll just keeps coming back! When will he just learn his lesson and give up?
4) Wenrick XIV or something like that: A mean person who could be considered the worst troll of all trolls. He creates multiple accounts, and acts like a complete arse. He uses bad grammar to a major extent, and is just a mean person all around.
5) Turtlebuggerer: One of rs111's trolling accounts. He has a rather disgusting picture of a Turtlebug with all it's limbs and wings cut off rather bloodily. I don't know why rs created that account, but I am a little angry at him for it.
Looks: Average teenager with brown hair, lots of acne, and growing a mustache and beard that they plan to shave off if they get the chance.
Fitness: Above average, reason being I'm a natural stud muffin, even though I eat crap all day and play on the computer when I'm not eating crap.
Social Skills: Poor, close to horrendous. I'm terrible in the social department. I can't keep a conversation going for the life of me.
Coolness: Average, as you can see from this site and if you meet me. I'm just your normal overly-depressed, sad guy.
Confidence: Poor, almost Feeble, due to my lack of believing I can get my story done...
Independence: Great, I work well by myself.
Tolerance: It takes a lot to make my steam go off, and even then it's not a long fuse.
Empathy: My empathy is outstanding, so much so that I would rather kill myself before hurting another person. If someone punched me I would not hit back, but cry up into a ball and yell mommy or something.
Niceness: Great, I am nice to everyone, even people that I'm not crazy about.
Tact: Average, enough said on that topic.
Honesty: Exceptional, I can never tell a lie because I believe my nose will keep growing longer (but then on the plus side, I could use it as a sword to slice people in half. Hi-ya!)
Intelligence: That's general knowledge. I think I'm intelligent for my age in some categories, but rather stupid in others.
Wisdom: That's how smart you are. Average, I'd say. I always find out new things every day, and forget things the next.
Sense of Humor: Great, in case you couldn't tell (you can't? Well humor isn't a sense, it's an emotion, stupid.)
Introspection: I try to be introspective, but it's hard. Still, I'd say I'm above average.
Creativity: I'm very creative. I wrote a 713 page story once.
Optimism: Poor, in my opinion. I tend to look on the negative side of things.
Pride/Vanity: I am myself, I don't want to be anyone else. I like my life, despite all it's hardships. So Feeble.
Envy: I'm not jealous of anyone. Why should I be? Feeble.
Gluttony: I don't eat much. So Poor, I guess.
Greed/Avarice: Feeble. I don't like money, it is stupid and it ruins lives and stuff.
Lust: I'm Average for a male, though I don't think about it as constantly as other people.
Sloth: Great. I'm a lazy smeg.... *Sigh*
Wrath/Anger: I never get angry, I'm just submissive most of the time.
Self-esteem: Poor, even compared to suicidal people's standards.
WRITERS, EDITORS, AND HELP NEEDED!!!!!
I need help with the book I'm writing. I'm stuck, and I don't know how to start my book! Oh noes!! If possible, anyone interested please contact me in any way, and I'll roll over the whole story for you so you can give me pointers on how to start and perhaps help write the book a little? Maybe? I'll take whatever help I can get, and suggestions to improve my book would be greatly appreciated!
Update later, I found a needle in a haystack that was the exact color of the hay. GASP! Time to stab someone with it! Nay, I'm a pacifist. You know what I don't get? Why it's called 'pacifist' for a someone who doesn't like violence when clearly the word says 'pass a fist'.